Thoughts…

This morning when I woke up, I laid in bed for a little bit thinking.  I thought about this book I’ve been reading.  There was a paragraph that I read yesterday that really reached me.  It scared me because it sounded like it might be me.  The book is about the mental game of sports.  It’s actually my textbook for my Psychology of Coaching class.  I love this class, but that’s a different topic.  This particular paragraph talks about competition and how it can go wrong if it’s used incorrectly.

“Children who have been taught to measure themselves [according to their abilities and achievements] often become adults driven by a compulsion to succeed which overshadows all else.  The tragedy of this belief is not that they will fail to find the success they seek, but that they will not discover the love or even the self-respect they were led to believe will come with it.  Furthermore, in their single-minded pursuit of measurable success, the development of many other human potentialities is sadly neglected.  Some never find the time or inclination to appreciate the beauties of nature, to express their deepest feelings and thoughts to a loved one, or to wonder about the ultimate purpose of their existence.”

Many of you know I’m a lawyer and I recently decided to stray from the beaten path.   This paragraph does a great job explaining the thoughts that were going on in my head when I made this decision.  When I read this paragraph, it scared me because it’s blatant and in my face.  It’s not merely thoughts or concerns in my head.  And it’s so definitive: this is what these people are.  I thought… “oh no… Is this me?”  If so, is it too late?  If this is me, can I change this thought process and view I have at this point in my life?  Yes, I made a big move for myself… a huge one, and that’s a good sign, but I still do CrossFit.  It would be a lie to say that my drive and work in CrossFit is not about measuring my abilities and achievements.  Did I just trade one compulsion to succeed for another compulsion to succeed?  Which brings me back to … is it too late to be someone different?

My workout today was Recovery.

Jerk Drills with the Trainer bar and Barbell.  Then 3 sets of 10 Jerks at 30% of my max.  After the Jerks, Jason and I did a Handstand Push Up Ladder from 1 to 4, 5 times.  I have to admit I’m getting tired of Recovery.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I just rested most of last week because I had bronchitis.  :)

I just want to get back in the gym and do some hard work damnit!  I guess I’ll have to wait until 12.3…

Photo Comment:  This is a picture of the front cover of the book I am reading.  As a side note, the writer is a tennis coach and so he relates everything to tennis, but the book is meant to discuss the inner game of competitive sports.  It’s a good read and provides a lot of insights and tools.  I would definitely recommend it.